My Unbelief

Recently I was given a prophetic word that I would experience God's healing grace in my life for my physical infirmities, by my own prayers. The caveat was that I would have to have more faith. I would need to believe more in what God can do through me.

"If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."
Immediately the boys' father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me with my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

How many of us are ill, have loved ones who are ill and have a deep desire to seem them healed? How many of us have loved ones or know of someone in addiction? How many have know or love someone who has been hurt badly and suffer even worse from the abuse? How many of us are broken inside, or love those who are broken inside, and long to see ourselves or them healed?

He was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities and the punishment that brought us peace was upon, and by His wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

From that scripture we can glean, that Christ has already born every sickness, disease, brokenness, addiction, that there ever was or will be and has healed us in advance. Declare the scripture and everyone is healed, that sounds easy. But it is not that easy is it? So why can we not walk in that place of affirmed healing?

"I tell you the truth, anyone who has FAITH in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so the Son may bring glory to the Father. " John 14:12

The key theme here to us is, anyone who has faith in Me. God gives me faith. God has me read my bible daily. God has me pray daily. By the Holy Spirit I minister on the street full time to the lost. I obey God to tithe a 10th of all the money we receive. God helps me lead others in prayer. God leads me to bible studies. So in prayer I asked God where could I possibly get more faith. He showed me a scripture and in it is the rudimentary basis of true faith in Christ. Which I lack and is my current prayer to our Lord.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgives you. Colossians 4:12-13.

To extend the fruits of the Spirit to others even with Christ is hard enough, but to forgive someone for wronging me? To believe Christ can forgive others through me who have hurt or wronged me? To believe that Christ can make me willing if I would trust Him? To believe Christ when His words tell me that they deserve to be forgiven? To believe that Christ can...? How can I have faith for God to heal others through me, when I cannot believe in Him to mend my broken heart? While I am still asking questions in my unbelief Jesus answers me...

"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." Mark 9:18

Jesus words are as timeless then as they are now. I am still part of the unbelieving generation that He has to put up with. O Lord, help me with my unbelief!

Deep Calls to Deep

7 Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. Psalm 42:7

My heart meeting God's heart. His love floods me so much I end up in racking sobs of surrender. To release to His love the very parts of me that I think are my strengths, He has exposed to me are what weaken my faith in Him; my fear in trusting Him.

The outer part of my heart is the part that I would give anyone in humbling myself. This is like the garment of my heart. The outer layer. The inner layer is so private, I forget it is even there. Until God reminds me from His word what He really wants from me.

13 Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity Joel 2:13

When I do this I feel naked and exposed. There is no vestige left of me that will give me security. But to deny Him this would mean my own eventual spiritual death. It is in being reborn from this place that I need to trust God that I will truly be living my life for Him.

6 " 'Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!" Ezekiel 16:6

In surrendering to God the very thing that keeps me safe, but is from this world, I begin to put my trust in Him, and for that He promises me His peace.

You will keep in perfect peace, himwhose mind is steadfast because trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3.

in Christ...

...Michael