Just Being Me

This simple blog as it relates to me living my life as a Christian and facing lifes challenges. This blog is to inform and challenge those who read it and me. I need to put down on paper what it is like to be a Christian. That some would believe it is easier than to just live our lives for ourselves on the surface that is not exactly true. I want to make it clear though that eternal life, and protection and love of the the Father during life stuff, far outway the challenges and discipline. Finding out that Jesus Christ, at my worst, loved me anyway to die for me. Think about that what is your worst? And can you imagine receiving the most priceless gift of love despite your worst, when you or I, clearly do not deserve it? Thats the love I am trying to touch on. This blog is the response of one of those Christians who faces loss, suffering, joy, and is tempted like anyone else. Its what I do with this gift of love. I want to use this blog to share with others, what God suggests I can or cannot do. I am never forced to do the right thing. Thats free will. Sometimes, when life seems so unbearable, despite my God being great (and I forget that part), that I am tempted to fulfill my own desire to have an escape from the constant time in a trial of life. See that is the the thing God's love, and His answer to me, is bigger than me shouting at Him that this should not be happening to me! I have found that God is not much for answers at times, but He has never denied me the one thing I desperately need when I am suffering...mercy. Not the kind of mercy that will carry me for a day or a month. Like a tax credit for a year or a reprieve on my rent or mortgage for a few months. That kind of mercy is not going to float me when I lose a parent or friend to cancer. When my wife gets hit by a car. When I lose my job. God's mercy when given in times of suffering is the promise that I will be their next time again..you can count it! Lets face it, we all have to face those we love dying. We all have to face losing a job, a cavitiy, money, car keys...I could go on, but I am sure you get the picture. I need a God that can teach me how to trust Him and even love Him, when really lousy stuff is happening in my life. I need my God to show me that I am worthy of love. I need my God to show me that I can forgive myself for what I think is unforgivable or forgive others for hurting me. Thats what this blog is about. I am a Christian, and I am no different than you. I face hurts, loss, disappointments, and my own mortality one day. Like you I am expected to face this stuff. I have a God who has already taught me about His love. So I am working on my confidence in Him to show me that despite the tough stuff I have to face, I am actually facing it with Him while He loves me. If you think that is a tough pill to swallow you are not alone. I am with you on that. But, since I am a Christian, in relationship with my God, I am inviting you to join me as I struggle through life facing stuff that God promises to face with me. I am going to process my stuff right here, using what every Christian has, his bible, and my faith in God. I am not much on journaling and some of what God has showed me already, was really helpful when things were real tough recently, so I want to make a record of that and work through some other stuff with Him. Just because I mentioned the great things that God does, I am not saying I have them figured out or can tell of how I trusted my God through that stuff. I am willing though to try and accept the kindnesses God makes available to all of us. Just because I am Christian does not mean I get it all, or that I always accept God's help. I have struggles with being proud, pigheaded, and forgiving alot, and those just a few of things this Christian wants to work through with God..and you.A Christian is anyone who has finally had enough of living a life that is not pleasing to God. What is that? Check your heart. We all have a conscience. That is God knocking on the door of our heart, since we were kids, telling us, what we know already, that we are doing something wrong. I think enough wrongs and God knocks a little harder and louder. That is how it was with me sort of. God knocked on alot of hearts, but not alot of us were listening, so He thought He would send down His son about 2000 years ago in Israel to hang out with us. He created us, and He wanted to tell us in person how much He loved us. (Why Israel? You will have to read the bible for that part.) So His Son, who goes by the name of Jesus, walks around for three years. Thats right only three years, telling everyone how much God loves us. How He wants us to just live a life of love, understanding and forgiveness. To obey God when He speaks in our hearts about the rights and wrongs of our lives. To prove He is God He does a bunch of miracles. Water to wine, walking on water, healing the lame and the blind and finally raising the dead. But that was not what was His greatest miracle. The greatest was when He died. Thats right. While walking the earth telling everyone how God wants a life of love and not just religion without love, He stepped on the toes of the religious leaders of the time. They did not like the new guy, no matter what great stuff He could do, because He was ruining their business and it was not about religion, but about the bad stuff in their hearts. See God wanted them to change too, but they did not want to give up the way they could line their pockets and stay in the limelight with everyone. That was really too bad for them. This gift of love and forgiveness is for everyone, even these guys. So Jesus knows what they want to do to Him. They want to kill Him. It was an us or Him, issue and they decided they wanted to kill Him. They even brought in a few more guys who had some stuff unaddressed in their hearts to lie about Jesus. All this work by them was for nothing. God had already intended for Jesus to die. It was the only way. Their has been alot of knocks on alot of hearts for many years and their is still whole lot more of hearts that God is knocking on to come. Nothing we could do in our religion to God could ever save us from all the times we ignored God knocking on our hearts. The Israelites used to use lambs, goats, and cattle, as a sacrifice for the ignored knocking on their hearts. Or sins of their hearts. They called this a blood sacrifice of an animal. Does not matter how may animals we would have killed, we always, in our own nature return to ignoring God at some time and doing something to someone not so nice. God knew that. So thats why He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to be the sacrifice for all the ignored hearts from the past and the future. The men of the day did kill Him, but it was Jesus who chose to lay His life down for His friends. You and me. After He died, they put Him in a tomb carved out of rock. He lay there for three days. Dead is dead. That should have been the end of it. But no. God for the mercy of us all, raised Him on the third day. He raised Him so that we can too be raised with Jesus Christ when we die. That part is hard to believe and maybe easy to understand. But it gets better. When we are tired of feeling lousy about ignoring God knocking on our heart, we can open the door by telling Him how sorry we are. We can ask Him to forgive us for all the times we ignored Him knocking on the door about the wrong we were about to do. Or the most important knock of them all, where God was using all the other knocks on the door of our heart to ask us if we wanted to thank Him for letting His one and only Son die. To die a pretty horrible death, so that we would not have to spend an eternity wishing we had of opened the door before we died. Well I am one of those guys who had decided it was time to open the door of my heart to meet this amazing God who would let His owns Son die for me.I did this by telling God how sorry I was. I asked Him to forgive me for all the times I ignored Him knocking on the door of my heart. I told Him that I was really grateful that He would send His Son to die for the wrong things I did. I told Him that I was tired of this life, but I did not know how I could live it the way He wanted me to. Thats about the time God puts a smile on His face and accepts the invitation from my heart. He like runs at me to give me a great big hug telling me, to not worry that we will do it together. Together! God the Creator of the universe, willing to help me not to do the same not so nice things anymore. All part of His getting me ready to hang out with Him forever. Dead is not dead! That sounded really good to me and still does. I sealed this new found relationship by having expressing it in the name of His one only Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.That was it. That was 6 years ago. With God it is truly a relationship. I certainly do not have it all figured out, but I am sure thankful for what God did for me and that He never tired of knocking on the door of my heart. I do not have God figured out after all this time either. He is not a God to be pigeonholed or truly understood. If I could, then He would not be God the great Creator, Alpah and Omega and all the other great names He has. He would just be god. And I and you would be in alot of trouble. But He is GOD. And I am me whom He loves and together in this blog I will share with you some of the challenges I have, and how God helps me, and can help you through them. This is not a reality show, and its real time. I expect to be going through some tough stuff. Recently my wife and I miscarried our child. I thought stuff like that does not happen to Christians. That was an eye opener. But God was there through it. He gave us peace and folks through it were there when we needed them, and loved on us. We knew that at the moments when we needed a break whether it was, someone to look after out other little girl, parking for the hospital, a car that worked, doctors and nurses who cared, or to thank Him that we were not as sick as the moaning and vomitting around us...He was there. Its a-kind of knowing, that you will only have if you have answered His constant knocking on your heart and opened the door to letting Him spend today and the rest of this life with eternity added on, with Him.I do not make references in this blog without referring to the bible. I thought I would put them on it that end so that you would have them in one place, but as you read them you will see that I said the same thing only God says it, as always better.Revelation 3:20 Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleans us from all wickedness.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 10:9 If you confess with yur mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe with your heart tht god rasied Him from the dead you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.

Jeremiah 31:33 "I will put my instructions deep within them and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God and they will be my people.

Luke 15:20 So he returned home to his Father. And while he was still a long way off, his Father, saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, He ran to His son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to Him, 'Father, I have sinned against both heaven and You, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.'

1 Corinthians 10:13 The tempations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show a way out, so that you can endure. So as you can see, God says what I said better.

So I welcome you to come back and discover with me how much God loves us and how great my God is. Especially in the tough times when we feel so alone and helpless, God is there. I am learning that recently and I do not want His lessons to be lost. Thanks for inspiring me God. Thanks for listening to me. May God bless you today.